Chocolate Orgasm

Now, my last review was a bit scathing on the BTC Vibe, Better Than Chocolate vibe. And, I can't in good conscience recommend it to any of my customers or readers!

But, what I can recommend is a good sexy drink to celebrate fantastic sex!

Cheers! Here's to your Wet-Noodle Orgasm!!!! You may not be able to get one through the BTC Vibe, but you can get a Chocolate Orgasm!

Chocolate Orgasm
1/3 oz. dark creme de cacao
1/3 oz. amaretto
1/3 oz. Irish Cream

Serve in a shot glass and bask in the after-glow of the liquor as it spreads sensual warmth down your throat, through your veins, and discards your inhibitions.

Not Your Mama's Massager!

A girl really should be happy having 4 objets de plaisir in the palm of her hands.

What's that you ask me?



Objets de Plaisir, Objects of Pleasure. Ahhh, one can never have too many pleasure objects on hand to satisfy that midday, midnight, daytime...anytime urge!



The 4 items I have sitting to the right of my elbow are ergonomic, palm-shaped vibes that more-often-than not get lumped into the category that is called "massagers." Novices to the world of sex toys and adult products may log on to a website or walk into a store and not know where to find these puppies because of how they are classified.

Vibrators typically conjure up the image of a phallic object that has at least one motor. But, as some of you may have noticed, there are different types of vibrators, some insertable, some not, and some more intimidating ones with 3 motors or more! Some of the most famous sex toys, the Hitachi Magic Wand and the Wahl, for example, do vibrate, but aren't thought of as vibrators in the traditional sense. Instead, they are listed as a massager, because this was their original intended purpose--for the massaging of sore muscles. Each type of vibrator and/or massager is organized and labeled differently by different manufacturers, which makes it even more confusing for the average consumer. So, it's easy to understand that when people are generally confused about what it is they are getting, they are a little less confident in asking for what they want because they don't know what the heck to call it. It's even more intimidating when it's a sexy object they are trying to describe but don't have the vocabulary to articulate.




So, today, we're going to explore the wonderful world of ergonomic, palm-shaped vibes that have recently become more popular than the pint sized pocket rockets or the ubiquitous bullet. Pocket rockets are still around, and yes, bullets are still being used. But, the trend is luxury, comfort, and styling. People are demanding a much better designed product these days than just a plastic covered motor, which is what the rocket and bullet are. While the rockets had a bit more of a handle, so didn't necessarily vibrate the user's hand, it wasn't ergonomic. The bullet, could at times be powerful, depending on the make and model, and be brute strength but vibrated the user's hand and therefore became uncomfortable to use after so long.

Companies like Lelo, Fun Factory, Nomi Tang, and now one of the big 4, Cal Exotics, took notice that consumers wanted something better to hold, to look at, but still had just as much juice as their old faves the rockets and the bullets. It seems to me that a lot of our manufacturers got smart and took a queue from computer mice manufacturers creating designs around the natural curvature of the human hand. So, as a result, we get these sexy looking new toys that funnily enough, kinda resemble new high-tech computer mice!



The first massager we'll be reviewing is one of my faves, the Layaspot by FunFactory. German company FunFactory has always impressed me. They use medical grade, body safe silicone; their designs are innovative, sexy, and fun; they don't take themselves too seriously; but best of all, their stuff works! The Layaspot fits into the curve of my hand nicely. The buttons are easy to utilize and therefore make adjusting the speed and intensity easy too. User beware though, if you put the batteries in opposite of the diagram on the toy, which I did at first, when you cap the end of it closed, the Layaspot will immediately come on and not stop until you take the batteries out! So, just take care to read the instructions and this little guy can take you to ergonomic, orgasmic bliss! (4 Os out of 5)



Lelo's Nea didn't fare as well on the O-factor scale. While Nea is beautiful, pretty doesn't always mean that you're going to be satisfied. In fact, Nea frustrated the hell out me! While this massager also fits the bill as an ergonomic beauty, nestling discreetly in the palm of my hand, I didn't have as much ease of use since the settings were on the bottom of the toy, which made it difficult for me to change during solo-play. So, I'd take it off and experiment with the settings. The lacquer finish and the silver tattoo detailing are nice, but in the end, I wanted to cum and got a bit angry that I paid so much to get so little. Nea is not cheap, as massagers go. I don't mind paying more for a good product especially if it lasts and does the job. I commend Lelo for being at the forefront of sensual design, and hands down they have some of the sexiest products on the market. I would like to keep buying, as well as recommending their products, but I find it difficult to do so when they leave me with metaphorical blue-balls :( (2 Os out of 5)



I hate to keep harping on, but here I go! I was super excited to get the new Nomi Tang Better than Chocolate Designer Vibrator. Oooh, the name is so cheeky and decadent, I couldn't help myself and ordered it when I heard about it! But, sometimes, like when a jack-in-the box is all wound up--you get oversold and over-hyped. So, what you get instead of a bang is just a sad whimper. Most of the time, I say, it's time to re-assess my expectations. But, the Better than Chocolate has no excuse! It purported itself to BE BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE! Every girl knows how delicious the right bite or morsel can be, how endorphins can kick in and make a terrible situation look less...well, terrible under the hazy influence of cacao & coco butter.



The BTC Vibe is NOT better than chocolate. In fact, this designer waste should be crossed off your list. Am I being harsh? Hey, it was purported to BE BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE, a crime that is inexcusable because it is such an awful lie! I will say, Nomi Tang's designers had good intentions. Ergonomically speaking, it is the best out of the 4 massagers that I am reviewing today. It is wide, fits my palm nicely, and the controls are at the top where my fingers can easily access and change my speed or intensity. It is also made of medical grade, body-safe silicone. But, the goodness stops there! This toy supposedly incorporates the iTouch technology so there are really no buttons to fumble with during play. However, locking a setting, finding a setting was not easy and the power was such a disappointment. Good idea, bad execution. (o out of 5)



I'm book-ending my review by leaving you on a happy note! CalExotics, considered to be the largest manufacturer of adult novelties, has paid attention to what their customers want by giving them versions of products like the Layaspot or Nea, using similarly luxurious materials at a lower price. Don't underestimate a manufacturer like CalExotics, who may sit back a bit and let these newer companies like Nomi Tang succeed or fail. The successes, like the Layaspot, they study and give us their own version of, while the duds, they also study and probably get a lot of good information to take back to their design studios. Who said a little competition was a bad thing? Today, because of upstarts like Lelo and FunFactory, the big names that we know have to improve on what they do. We as consumers benefit!



The Couture Collection from CalExotics is a brand that directly competes with other luxury & designer names but at a nicer price point. I first saw the rather ordinarily named massager, called the Masseur, of the Couture collection when I was researching new products to put on the Pleasuredevils.com site. Trolling through all of my manufacturers websites, I came across the Masseur and wondered if it was available yet? I remember thinking to myself that I hoped the Sexpert Department from CE sent this to me as my next assignment. When the I got my mail it was as if my prayers were heard! Lo and behold, there it was, the Pink Masseur! She's not as acutely curvy as the Layaspot, but she is good lookin' and just as powerful! Her controls are easy to access and handle, she's made of body safe, medical grade silicone, and most important, she got me REALLY excited and gave me a happy ending! (4 Os out of 5)

So, next time your on Pleasuredevils.com or at a store trying to get one of these vibrators, remember that what you're looking for is an ergonomic, palm-sized massager, most likey under the massager section!