Delving Into the Dark Side: Part I

I will admit that it is only recently that I have fully embraced my deep fascination for domination/submission. It has always been my strongly held belief that I fill only the role of the Submissive Woman. But, as I told someone over this past weekend, you never know what you are truly capable of until you remove the words "can't" or "are not" before that which you heretofore believed you were.

In fact, it's amazing what one is capable of being or doing when you just embrace it and say, YES I AM that which I've decided to BE!

It's empowering. It's exhilarating. It's intoxicating.

So, while I dabbled and told partners past that what I enjoy is being in the submissive role, it's been my utter delight and shock to discover that I've really only scratched the surface of what that really means. It took the complete surrender of my self to a darker side of me that I never knew existed to understand what true submission really means.

This other side of me...she is wicked, where I am normally playful; velvety where I am oft shiny or bright; she is divine, sinful chocolate to my typically sweetly candy-coated outer shell. This alter-ego, she is the dark to my light; the shadow to my everyday visage that I have never understood and, quite frankly, feared.

But, a person can't be complete without the acknowledgment of their dualities. And this is what I was--half-complete, half-developed.

It amazes me that I've gone almost 30 years trying to push back and deny this person that is also me! In the coming weeks, months, years...I am really looking forward to getting to know this seductive, ethereal woman that is lurking in my depths. I've come to know that I am a strong woman, but getting to understand this part of my psyche, I suspect that my strength and my core go even beyond what I've touched.

This was not, by any means, an overnight discovery. In fact, this was a slooooowwww descent into the rich folds and tapestry that is "Diabolique" from the safely navigable shores of the self I knew.

How did this dark odyssey begin, you ask me? I'd like to laugh, and simultaneously cry too, because it all began with my partner, who was really the "Serpent" in this seductive genesis story.



The reason for the dual emotion is that I resisted. And, in my resistance I denied not just my own pleasure and personality, but his too.

Diavolo, my abject apologies for denying you and me for too long.

Consequently, the "apple," or the instrument of my happy demise and ruin, are a set of sheets. What has been a bestselling bondage item for my company has also been the iconic, and ironic, symbol of my own personal release.

Sportsheets, may seem like bondage-lite or even beginner's bondage. But it is, it was, a good place to start for me. I didn't know, couldn't have known, what my tiny submissions in this arena would amount to--all in the name of product research. It is in the personal and sexual moments of growth like these that I fully relish and appreciate what I do.

So, as you may have already detected, I have a soft spot for this product because it was my entree into this deliciously devious world of delights.



Bondage, domination, submission are ideas of sexual role playing that can be intimidating to many. It is not a form of love that suits everyone. I am not yet quite sure how comfortable I am with this medium of love and affection, but I am certainly enjoying the exploration of it.