Most of the time, I am enticed by the packaging or the marketing of a new toy. Like a little girl super excited about testing out her newest acquisition, I usually go home and take my shiny new object for a test drive as soon as privately possible!
I would love to say that every toy I’ve ever bothered to purchase worked the way it was supposed to and gave me endless amounts of pleasure. But alas, this was true for about 60% of the toys I’ve purchased.
Sure we girls have different anatomies and different toys just seem to do it for different people. But, there are some techniques and certain gadgets that seem to be universally accepted as the “sure thing.”
Being classified as someone that is a “hard” come, or rather difficult to orgasm, I accepted that despite the almost unanimous claims of the Rabbit as being a wonder-toy that I was the exception to the rule. Little did I realize that a lot of making a toy work was revisiting it and practicing with it! Much like riding a bicycle or doing anything new. Practice!
The Rabbit, as I’ve pointed out above, was one of the first toys I’ve ever tried in my adult life and summarily dismissed. It was also one of the first toys that I revisited a few years later to discover what everyone else had—bliss, pure orgasmic bliss! I am not sure if it was user error, user impatience, user frame of mind, and/or better and new technology. Maybe it was as combination of all of these factors that made the first experience a not so good one and the later experience a MUCH better one!
Either way, it taught me that my anatomy wasn’t all that different. I might still be difficult to orgasm by some standards, but if a toy worked for a good number of people, then I probably wasn’t using it right. Also, it made think that there were toys in my box of “unused” sex toys that I should revisit and retest.
The four different factors: user error, impatience, frame of mind, and new/better technology, were things that I began to look at more closely as I looked into my history of toy usage.
In almost all, but two, my partner and I were able to go back to some of the toys that have puzzled me, or rather us, in the past and made them work. Hurrah! Not only did I feel gratified that the money I spend wasn’t wasted after all, which was usually part of the disappointment that I felt after a new gadget didn’t work it’s magic, but I also learned something new about myself, my anatomy, and where my mental or emotional state had to be in order for some of these things to work.
A lot of the times, I really needed just to relax, take more time, and live more in my body and less in my mind—essentially it was the letting go of expectations and allowing the body to just respond to the design of the toy. There’s a certain amount of release in the mind that has to happen and a certain amount of allowing one to live fully in the body and the senses that isn’t taught to many people. My suspicion is that this is what has made it so difficult for me to achieve orgasm previously.
Re-trying and revisiting some of these toys was really fun! My partner and I, already doing recent research into g-spot orgasms, were also able to put some of our new found knowledge to use and found that these techniques go hand-in-hand with the ergonomics and design of some of these toys that we prior to felt were useless!
So, I guess I can’t really say I’m a “hard” or difficult come. I’ve had too much recent success to be able to complain about that! But I will say that the old adage, “practice makes perfect” is true in the case of many toys. Having some determination and creativity in making something work is also needed, along with a good dash of patience and maybe even a little bit of analytical thought.
It seems like sex toys shouldn’t be this hard to work and that it should just do its “thing” and get you off. Well, I hate to burst your proverbial bubble, but most toys aren’t like that. And thank goodness! If they were, well, we wouldn’t have to think and they wouldn’t be as much fun. In fact, I would argue that maybe the reason these toys aren’t so fun to figure out is that most people have to do it on their own! Sure, I can see where if you just want to release some pent-up tension, doing some analytical work on a new object will probably make for some very frustrating minutes with yourself and your new gadget. And, the whole factor of patience is then thrown out the window!
If you do decide you want to revisit or re-try a toy, I suggest doing it with your partner. It’s always more fun to do it as a team and two heads are better than one, erm….two people thinking on the ergonomics and design that is! If you’re honey isn’t too sure about using toys or thinks they are strange and weird, this is a wonderful time to enlist their help and get them used to the idea of toys as an additional enhancement in your bedroom repertoire!
There are so many good reasons to revisit that old box of sex toys that just didn’t seem to quite do it the first time! Learning about yourself and your anatomy, saving a little money, having some fun with your partner! I hope you do try to go back to your little box of idle sexy playthings and get it on!!!
Here are the few that I have re-called on and had some triumphs:
The Rabbit, or the new Impulse Jackrabbit (Cal Exotics SE0610203), this was definitely a case of where I was too much in my head, not enough in my body, and new/better technology!
Lucid Dreams, #14, by Doc Johnson (0926-01). This is one of Doc Johnson’s most popular g-spot toys. I felt it didn’t do much for me! But after revisiting this little number armed with some new techniques that my boyfriend and I had learned, this is a new gem in our collection that had previously been gathering dust for over 2 years!
The Idea of Being Tied Up: Ok, so this isn’t a toy. But, it was a toy or rather some sexy bedroom accoutrements that made me change my mind about this kinky, kinda S&Mish sexual occupation. Ahhhh, the Sportsheets! Yes, this was all about me, where I was at in my head, and learning how to tell my partner what I like and didn’t like. Not only did I learn about myself and teach my partner how to please me, I also learned the empowerment that comes with knowing what personally turned me on and being able to communicate it so that it could be used on me! Wow!
So, folks, I heartily encourage you break into your dusty toy chests and do some experimenting and exploring. At the same time, I also want to persuade any and all of you that purchase toys today but don’t get satisfaction from the first time you try it to try that puppy again! Practice, practice, practice! No, it doesn’t make for perfection, but it does, more often than not, make for a whole lot of fun!
No comments:
Post a Comment